Albert is smart, he's a genius
   Watch Albert putter, an obvious genius
   Someday he will reassess the world
   And he'll still have time for lots of girls
  
   When he grows up he'll remember us
   When he grows up we are sure that he'll remember us
  
   We made sure that Albert wore his mac
   We kept all the strangers off his back
  
   Chorus:
  
   (Go away)
   Everything's relative
   (Go away Albert's mother does say to me)
   We are his relatives and he don't need any non-relatives
  
   Talent is an asset
   You've got to understand that
   Talent is an asset
   And little Albert has it
   Talent is an asset
   And Albert surely has it
  
   One day he'll sever his apron strings
   All of the while he'll be scribbling things, genius things
   Look at Albert, isn't he a sight
   Growing, growing at the speed of light
  
   Chorus:
  
   (Go away)
   Everything's relative
   (Go away Albert's mother does say to me)
   We are his relatives and he don't need any non-relatives
  
   Talent is an asset
   And little Albert has it
  
   Talent is relative
   That's hypothetical
   We are his relatives
   That's parenthetical
   Spare your superlatives
   There's the receptacle
   There's the receptacle
  
   Leave Albert's study room
   Leave Albert's happy home
   Leave Albert's neighbourhood
   Leave Albert's city, too
   Leave Albert's country seat
   Leave Albert's coun-ter-y
   Leave Albert's continent
   Leave Albert's hemisphere
   Leave Albert's planet, too
   Leave Albert's universe
  
   No one must see him now
   Only the medical
   No one must downgrade him
   Don't be to cynical
   Don't be to critical
   Cancel the magazines
   They're much to political
   Don't buy him any jeans
   They're much to casual
   Talent is relative
   That’s hypothetical
   We are his relatives
   That's parenthetical