He's a serious Mister
  shake his hand and he'll
  twist your arm
  with monopoly money
  we'll be buying the funny farm
  So I'll do flips,
  and get paid in chips
  from a diamond as big as the Ritz-
  then I'm calling it quits
  calling it quits
  Eyes the color of candy
  lies to cover the handicap
  though your slippers are ruby
  you'll be led to the booby trap
  And there's no prize
  just a smaller size
  so I'm wearing the shoe 'til it fits -
  then I'm calling it quits
  calling it quits
  Now he's numbering himself
  among the masterminds
  cuase he's hit upon the leverage
  of valentines
  lifting dialogue from
  Judy Garland story lines
  where get tough girls turn into
  goldmines
  Bot oh, those polaroid babies
  taking chances with rabies
  happy to tear me to bits -
  well, I'm calling it quits
  yes I'm calling it quits.